The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.

Maybe, just maybe, I am ready to date again.

Who knows, what may happen?

Words are from the lips, actions are from the heart

Actions > Words

Always.

Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master

Learning: acquisition of new information or (somewhat) permanent change of behaviours. If the act itself does not result in any behavioural changes, it is not considered as learning.

Yeah, some people just don't learn.

A smart girl leaves before she is left

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world"

Bring it on

🤜🤛

Burning bridges?

Humans can be so superficial and bias.
On the surface, they say words such as self-love or whatever crap, but the actions are contradictory. I am so sick and tired of this shit.

They prided that they know you well -know your pattern, know your personality, know your character and constantly pointing out your flaws. But honestly, is what you see what you get? Have they ever considered that people put up fronts to hide something? Perhaps the lack of sense of security, feeling envious, the emptiness in the midst of a crowd etc. 

How deep of a person can you truly understand? 
Do you really understand what he/she is thinking?
Do you really understand how he/she is feeling?
Do you really know what he/she is going through?
Do you really know what he/she is struggling with?

How can you fully understand a person's feelings when you have not walked a mile in his/her shoes? If you are not that person,  how can you say you understand him/her well? You are not living his/her life.

Yes, you have your struggles
Yes, you have your troubles
Yes, you have your issues
but the experiences are not the same. It never is and will never be.

They think that you are unappreciative, lazy, ungrateful and the list goes on but really, do they know your inner-thoughts? The little things that you do go unnoticed. Humans are just like that.

I am no saint but I try to follow the bible's teachings. I am not perfect but I am trying.

The struggle between christian thoughts and human thoughts is real. It has come to a point where I feel so numb I cannot even be bothered to speak up or defend myself.
Perhaps some things are just not meant to be in your life, no matter how much you yearn.

Just need an outlet to get it off my chest.
Can't wait to escape from all of these zz

Let your strongest muscle be the will

Busy semester with heavy workload -never a good combination. Much regrets even until now for taking up 5 modules for this semester. Looking back, what was I thinking? A hero wannabe? Push my limits? Hahahaha, sot.
No-life weekend, 1 down and 1 more to go.
So goong goong. I thought my papers were today and tomorrow but a double-check at my planner told me otherwise (tomorrow and Wednesday). Good thing I checked, if not I would have gone to school for NOTHING.
Sigh pie, can imagine my stress level. Literally coped up the whole day in the room while others enjoyed their activities. Can't wait for the exams to be over.

NEXT WEEK NEXT WEEK, HANG ON.

After that can bounce already, HAHAHA!

--

Why is it that the invitation to the girlfriends' meet up is extended to the partners? Correct me if I am wrong but the ones I am having a friendship with are the LADIES and not the guys. What's the purpose of bringing your boyfriends to the meet up? I thought it was a ladies' night out.
No, I am not bitter or salty about not having one but dude, we have not seen each other in a while. There should be lots of catch ups, gossips or whatever nots but with strangers there (can't blame me, I know them but I don't know them well enough like the ladies), we will not be as engaging. The least you guys can do is, er, maybe ask me if I am ok with it? Am I ok to be the third wheel, the extra light bulb? Me awkward much?
Going to get married next year and you will see him for the rest of your life. Is there a need to be so attached? ("/)
If the future meet ups are going to be like this, I am going to start compiling 101 excuses to give it a miss. I mean, what's the point right? The current situation is not as if we are close, unlike the past.
Sigh. So not looking forward to the 25th.
Maybe I will fake being unconscious or something, tsk.

Life is really an unpredictable journey

Just this morning, I learned of a colleague's health condition. One day while working, she felt uncomfortable so she headed to the nearest polyclinic. On that same day, she got admitted and has been in and out of the hospital (to drain the water out of her lungs) ever since. This was weeks ago.

The diagnosis was stage 4 lung cancer. What was even shocking was the suddenness of it. There was not a single symptom or warning prior to the diagnosis. She has always been fine -doesn't smoke, happy-go-lucky etc which was why I was totally caught off guard by the news.

When I returned, I was told that one of the clients passed away.

Yup, all within the span of an hour.

As I type this with an extremely heavy heart, I can't help but ponder on the fact that life is really really unpredictable. You could be in a pink of health right now but the next health check-up may prove you wrong. You could be heading home after work just like any other day but you may not make it home. I am not dwelling on the negativity, or at least that was what I told myself. I am thinking, if any of these happens to me, what will happen? I admit, I am not ready to meet the Heavenly Papa in heaven yet. I know I have tons of goals unchecked on my list.

Now I know why people tend to avoid working with elderly. The grief work...is not an easy matter. The handling of emotions and the acceptance that death is part of life on earth -I am still trying to come to terms with it. I have some clients I am close with and I can't imagine receiving their negative news -the feeling will be like losing my grandparents all over again.


Will I be able to handle when the time comes?



Monday has officially been ruined...

MEDIATOR RELATIONSHIPS

Mediators are dreamy idealists, and in the pursuit of the perfect relationship, this quality shows strongest. Never short on imagination, Mediators dream of the perfect relationship, forming an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their soul mate, playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will be. This is a role that no person can hope to fill, and people with the Mediator personality type need to recognize that nobody’s perfect, and that relationships don’t just magically fall into place – they take compromise, understanding and effort.

Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None

Fortunately these are qualities that Mediators are known for, and while it can be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy from reality, Mediators’ tendency to focus their attention on just a few people in their lives means that they will approach new relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent value, dedication and trust.

Mediators share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships – that two people can come together and make each other better and happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.

But Mediators aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found someone compatible. In dating, Mediators will often start with a flurry of comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal they’ve imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with Mediators’ rich imagination and moral standards – if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end quickly, with Mediators likely sighing that “it wasn’t meant to be.”

As a relationship takes hold, people with the Mediator personality type will show themselves to be passionate, hopeless romantics, while still respecting their partners’ independence. Mediators take the time to understand those they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change. While Mediators are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what can come across as constantly being told that they need to improve – or, put another way, that they’re not good enough. Mediators would be aghast to find that their intents were interpreted this way, but it’s a real risk, and if their partner is as averse to conflict as Mediators themselves, it can boil under the surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.

Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late

This aversion to conflict, while contributing greatly to stability in the relationship when done right, is probably the most urgent quality for Mediators to work on. Between their sensitivity and imagination, Mediators are prone to internalizing even objective statements and facts, reading into them themes and exaggerated consequences, sometimes responding as though these comments are metaphors designed to threaten the very foundations of their principles. Naturally this is almost certainly an overreaction, and Mediators should practice what they preach, and focus on improving their ability to respond to criticism with calm objectivity, rather than irrational accusations and weaponized guilt.

But that’s at their uncommon worst – at their best, Mediators do everything they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to themselves and encouraging their partners to do the same. Mediators take their time in becoming physically intimate so that they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People with this personality type are generous in their affection, with a clear preference for putting the pleasure of their partners first – it is in knowing that their partners are satisfied that Mediators truly feel the most pleasure.

First challenge of 2017

Yes, I started 2017 with a food ban that includes fast food, fried food, processed food, sweetened beverages and...

Except, mine is not for 21 days but for 3 MONTHS. My discipline towards food? ZERO. NADA. Sweetened drinks? Not an issue because I hardly touch them but desserts? What more McDonald is having twister fries right now! What am I doing to myself?! You can imagine the pain and oh, I am not looking forward to Chinese New Year. 

Regretting as the days go by, why didn't I set 1 month? 21 days? I used to want to go on a diet but it always fail at the 2nd day. Everyone look down on my resolution for eating clean. Don't get me wrong, I eat and love veggies. But at the same time, I love eating all kinds of food and yes, that includes unhealthy ones.

I feel that I should do something about my diet to speed up the recovery of the outbreak on my face. Yes, I still cannot get over it. Went for facial and first time the lady told me: "You have to come back next month (I went on the previous month) before CNY. *cries*

On the bright side, I survived day 3 (and hopefully counting on) so yay!

MEDIATOR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

Mediator Strengths

• Idealistic – Mediators’ friends and loved ones will come to admire and depend on them for their optimism. Their unshaken belief that all people are inherently good, perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an incredibly resilient attitude in the face of hardship. Seek and Value Harmony – People with the Mediator personality type have no interest in having power over others, and don’t much care for domineering attitudes at all. They prefer a more democratic approach, and work hard to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.

• Open-Minded and Flexible – A live-and-let-live attitude comes naturally to Mediators, and they dislike being constrained by rules. Mediators give the benefit of the doubt too, and so long as their principles and ideas are not being challenged, they’ll support others’ right to do what they think is right.

• Very Creative – Mediators combine their visionary nature with their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional perspectives. Being able to connect many far-flung dots into a single theme, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are celebrated poets and authors.

• Passionate and Energetic – When something captures Mediators’ imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all in, dedicating their time, energy, thoughts and emotions to the project. Their shyness keeps them from the podium, but they are the first to lend a helping hand where it’s needed.

• Dedicated and Hard-Working – While others focusing on the challenges of the moment may give up when the going gets tough, Mediators (especially Assertive ones) have the benefit of their far-reaching vision to help them through. Knowing that what they are doing is meaningful gives people with this personality type a sense of purpose and even courage when it comes to accomplishing something they believe in.

Mediator Weaknesses

• Too Idealistic – Mediators often take their idealism too far, setting themselves up for disappointment as, again and again, evil things happen in the world. This is true on a personal level too, as Mediators may not just idealize their partners, but idolize them, forgetting that no one is perfect.

• Too Altruistic – Mediators sometimes see themselves as selfish, but only because they want to give so much more than they are able to. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they try to push themselves to commit to a chosen cause or person, forgetting to take care of the needs of others in their lives, and especially themselves.

• Impractical – When something captures Mediators’ imagination, they can neglect practical matters like day-to-day maintenance and simple pleasures. Sometimes people with the Mediator personality type will take this asceticism so far as to neglect eating and drinking as they pursue their passion or cause.

• Dislike Dealing With Data – Mediators are often so focused on the big picture that they forget the forest is made of individual trees. Mediators are in tune with emotions and morality, and when the facts and data contradict their ideals, it can be a real challenge for them.

• Take Things Personally – Mediators often take challenges and criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to reassess their positions. Avoiding conflict as much as possible, Mediators will put a great deal of time and energy into trying to align their principles and the criticisms into a middle ground that satisfies everybody.

• Difficult to Get to Know – Mediators are private, reserved and self-conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to really get to know, and their need for these qualities contributes to the guilt they often feel for not giving more of themselves to those they care about.

The Personality Test

MEDIATOR PERSONALITY (INFP, -A/-T)

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

Being a part of the Diplomat Role group, Mediators are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue – Mediators are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the Mediator personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.

We Know What We Are, but Know Not What We May Be

At their best, these qualities enable Mediators to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. Fantasy worlds in particular fascinate Mediators, more than any other personality type. The strength of their visionary communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous Mediators are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to Mediators, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.

Mediators have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

Mediators’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either – as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to Mediators’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.

Listen to Many People, but Talk to Few

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, Mediators will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for Mediators’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, Mediators can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. Mediators often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, Mediators may start to lose touch, withdrawing into “hermit mode”, and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.

Luckily, like the flowers in spring, Mediator’s affection, creativity, altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty wherever they go.


Try it at: https://www.16personalities.com/

等一個人咖啡

每一個人，都在等一個人

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”


~ J.R.R Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

It’s okay to let them go

What are words

If you really don't mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times

Then that's all

Those words, they never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

I wonder what weight this fragile thread of connection carries

It is time to burn some bridges

not because I want to

but because I need to

in order to stop myself from crossing them again.

To leave is not the same as being left

If you leave, please stay gone.

I don't do tug-o-wars.

I hate this, the feeling of being left hanging.
But more than anything, I hate myself,
for giving you the chance to re-enter my life.

Firsts are special

Here's to many more firsts and many more great memories.

愛上你的時候 還不懂感情

離別了才覺得刻骨 銘心

也許當時忙著微笑和哭泣

忙著追逐天空中的流星

與你相遇 好幸運

可我已失去為你淚流滿面的權利...

There's no love like the first.

A first love always occupies a special place. 

If you think back to your first love, you always remember them and little things always remind you of them.

That first love. And the first one who breaks your heart. 
For me, they just happened to be the same person.

No one ever fell in love gracefully

I want a toe-curling kind of love.

I want to feel butterflies in my tummy whenever we meet. I want you to sweep me off my feet all the time. I want to have a goofy smile on whenever I see you. I want to fall in love with you over and over again everyday. I want to cuddle and talk about everything and anything during a chilly weather in between the sheets. I want to wake up to your sleeping face every morning. I want to be spoiled with feather-light and forehead kisses. I want you to get jealous and become possessive whenever a guy hits on me. I want my insides to melt into a puddle whenever you smile at me. I want to get lost in your love whenever I look into your eyes. I want my heart to skip a beat whenever you charm me with that adorable dimple of yours. I want you to kiss me in the rain whenever there is an opportunity. I want you to surprise me with small yet simple romantic gestures. I like the way you made me blush whenever you whisper sweet nothings to me. I want us to fight for us whenever the going gets tough.

I want a love that is so worth the heartbreak.

I want to love a love that is so real that not even words can describe it...

....because love conquers all.

Opps, the romanticist in me wants to blog an entry that has absolutely zero meanings. Perhaps the increased in reading novels inspired me to pen down these sentences. Teehee. Allow me to muse and play around with words, aye, if not I won't sleep in peace, hahas!

Slightly early but...
Have a great V day ahead!
♥