Food for thought

Right,so I do not know how/where to start.

Time flies and I am already in Year 2.Soon,I will be in Year 3 and then I will head off for attachment and then graduation and etc.

Then the brain wrecking question:What's next?Am I going to continue studying?If yes,which university am I aiming for?But what if I cannot get into the desired university?If not,what am I going to do?

I guess most of you(if you are close enough) should know that studying sports was not what I have planned in the first place.My choice was to go into culinary baking.But after many debates,feedbacks and careful considerations,I ended up in RP's DSES.My plan is/was:Get a diploma cert.If I can get into university,continue to study sports.If not,I will start afresh and study baking.Sounds good,no?

The thing is,I am not so sure about it now,hence explaining the is/was.There are many factors to consider like time and etc.My grandma encourage me to take up baking.I mean,I am still interested in baking,for now but I don't know about 1 year later.Things may change,if you get what I mean.So right now,I really don't know what I want to do in the future and I think that this is not a good thing.Walking aimlessly without a goal-I have never felt so lost before.Maybe I should go on a hiatus and find out what I really want in life.

Now that school starts,I have been busy with training and studies and I reach home late every night.I felt that I have been neglecting my family.My grandma had a fall recently and there was nothing I can do.I feel so unfilial for not spending time with her.Everyone said that there is no such thing as no time.I used to think that way too but that's only because I have nothing to do.When you are in my shoes,you will understand that this term is actually true.But no matter what,family is still my top priority.

You know,I am such a lousy friend.Ask everyone,they will agree.Recently I failed to meet them and I hate myself for it,seriously.Whenever things are set right,there bound to be something that will crop up at the last minute.

So here,I want to say SORRY to you friends whom I am supposed to meet but never meet.I feel bad,in fact,very bad.I promise that I will try my utmost to fulfill the dates that we've agreed on.I don't know what to say to redeem myself except for sorry and I mean it,really.

At times,I thank God that I am not in a relationship.I mean,look at me,I am always so busy and tired.But then again,don't you feel lonely when you see couples on the street while you are alone?I am not afraid to admit that I wish for someone to be right by my side,at times.Don't get me wrong,I am not desperate or anything.I won't go into a relationship for the sake of wanting someone to talk or confine to-I can get a friend for that kind of thing.I want to get into a relationship because of the mutual likes we have for each other,period-simple as that.

I don't know why I blog about issues like this,I mean,this is so not me right?But I feel that I have to express my thoughts out.Keeping them is suffocating.

Hopefully I will be enlightened from the upcoming trips about these issues.

And dear friends,please be patient with your friend here alright?You know she loves and misses all of you(:

And look,it's 11:11Pm.So what did you wish for?