Never force, never beg and don't chase

 Been in limbo for the past 4 months (and counting); I don't know whether to try harder or give up. 

You said I am someone who is important to you but I feel that I am not worth your time. I feel like you do not need me in your life at all and I question myself (a lot) - what am I to you? A female friend? A close friend? An ex? What is my purpose in your life? What is my worth? Am I really that important? One thing for sure - I am not your priority.

When I try too hard, I feel...unusual, weird and at times, irritating even. This is so not me. Why am I doing this? Am I needy? I feel like I have to be independent and cool but is this what I want to be in a relationship? Honestly, I am having second thoughts............................

You know, when you hit a certain age, you begin to realize the things that matter, people that matter and to be honest, how much time do I have left? I don't wanna waste time on unnecessary people. Am I rushing? Am I desperate?

No, I am not. I know what I want and that's why I don't wanna waste anymore time. Life is not infinite.

Someone's effort is a reflection of their interest in you. Are we not speaking each others' love language? Am I missing many things here? 

Don't force someone to have time for you. Don't beg for attention, love, assurance, consistency and time. Because if they want, they will.

As bad as I want to address these, some things are better left unsaid. 

I guess I am not that strong after all...