Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing'.

I've got to accept the fact that some things in life are beyond my control, no matter how much I dislike. The only thing I can do is to change my own thoughts, to change to another perspective to convince myself "I am ok with it" but am I really? 

Wish someone can educate me on how to be ok with someone I dislike, sigh. This is so hard. Guess my heart is not that big afterall. I feel like if I can accept the fact, a tiny part of me will die a little, perhaps starting the process of feelings fading? Probably the reason why I am unable to accept and tolerating as much as I can.

Sigh pie, the heart is feeling so heavy now. Hopefully quitting helps, I really pray it does. Out of sight, out of mind. If I can turn back time, I probably won't go with the flow and fight the current, maybe then I won't be having mixed feelings or be in the state of where I am right now. 

Probably one of the reasons why I choose to stay single, so much easier...

How far does the promise extends to?  If only one can see and do things without being told what to do, sigh.  

Actions > words