"Because sometimes, trying hard is just not enough"
Why do I feel so out of place in this team?
Why is everyone relying on me so much?
Why do I feel like crying while training?
Why can't I control my emotions during training?
Why do I get upset with my team mates so easily?
Why am I experiencing all these for the very first time?
Why does trying hard gets me nowhere?
I got motivated after watching how the different teams fought on court on Sunday's Inter-CC. I was so determined to pull my standard/level of play further from them but one training was all it took to crush everything.
I am so tired, so so so tired despite the constant prayers to God for strength, patience etc. I feel like I am in this by myself. Injures kept piling and never seems to end. Team mates kept expecting me to lead. At the end of training, I am always drained-both physically and mentally. I feel like I am at my limits already.
How long more can I keep going?
How long more till I break down?