Never force, never beg and don't chase

 Been in limbo for the past 4 months (and counting); I don't know whether to try harder or give up. 

You said I am someone who is important to you but I feel that I am not worth your time. I feel like you do not need me in your life at all and I question myself (a lot) - what am I to you? A female friend? A close friend? An ex? What is my purpose in your life? What is my worth? Am I really that important? One thing for sure - I am not your priority.

When I try too hard, I feel...unusual, weird and at times, irritating even. This is so not me. Why am I doing this? Am I needy? I feel like I have to be independent and cool but is this what I want to be in a relationship? Honestly, I am having second thoughts............................

You know, when you hit a certain age, you begin to realize the things that matter, people that matter and to be honest, how much time do I have left? I don't wanna waste time on unnecessary people. Am I rushing? Am I desperate?

No, I am not. I know what I want and that's why I don't wanna waste anymore time. Life is not infinite.

Someone's effort is a reflection of their interest in you. Are we not speaking each others' love language? Am I missing many things here? 

Don't force someone to have time for you. Don't beg for attention, love, assurance, consistency and time. Because if they want, they will.

As bad as I want to address these, some things are better left unsaid. 

I guess I am not that strong after all...

I hope you fall in love with someone...

 I hope you fall in love with someone who always texts back and never let you fall asleep thinking you're unwanted.

I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you when you're too busy dancing around the kitchen.

I hope you fall in love with someone who sees galaxies in your eyes and hears music in your heartbeats.

I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones.

But beyond that, I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted, someone who will stand by you when you're right and when you're wrong. Someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still. 

I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you in the cold and wouldn't have you any other way.

Maybe I don't deserve you...

想开心，就得学会装傻和看不到

 人要拿得起，也要放得下，拿得起是生存，放得下是生活。什么都看淡无所谓一点，心情就会好很多。

快乐有三法：舍得、放下、忘记。幸福有四要素：可以改变的去改变，不可改变的去改善，不能改善的去承担，不能承担的就放下。平淡没那并不可怕，可怕的是带着面具，活在虚荣的梦幻里。活得真实点，去活得简单些。

To win in life, kill your ego

事，想开了最好，想不开也就算，尽心了努力了就无遗憾

It is my fault

I ended us...

…and there is (probably) no way back.

Now is the time to bear the consequences.

It's ok, time to move on.

Focus on self and other things or/and people that matter more.

But please don't blame me if I distant myself.

I become cold to avoid getting hurt.

Please don't treat me more than how a friend should be treated.

I will become an overthinker.

I don't regret my actions or the things I say,

we are probably not the one for each other.

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book

 

2020 is not an entirely bad year, there are some good that happened.

I've lost some friends whom I thought were permanent residents in my life...

...but it's ok, I've gained more than I've lost so still thankful.

Covid-19 has taught me the importance of health and the usage of time.

You are replaceable in the workplace but irreplaceable in family and friends.

Nonetheless, moving forward

May 2021 be a year of blessing, stronger health, happiness and time well spent

cheerios!

伸手要的和主动给的是不一样

难过久了，好像也没那么难过了.

人要拿得起，也要放得下。拿得起是生存，放得下是生活.

做个懂事的人，真的很累

 什么都看淡无所谓一点，心情就会好很多

少一点胡思乱想，真的会快乐很多很多

快乐有三法：舍得、放下、忘记。

幸福有四要素：可以改变的去改变，不可改变的去改善，不能改善的去承担，不能承担的就放下。

平淡没那并不可怕，可怕的是带着面具，活在虚荣的梦幻里。活得真实点，去活得简单些。